No, Nigel Farage Isn't Coming to Save You

With an increasingly fractured Conservative Partyon the brink of the electoral abyss in 2024, Britain’s new right is looking for a figure to unite around in a potential Torytakeover. That figure is the former UKIPleader and Brexitarchitect, Nigel Farage.

As a former Member of the European Parliament turned GB News presenter, Farage is an iconic figure on the British political right. Recently, he has been beamed into homes across the nation, thanks to his well-remunerated role in ITV's I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here — billed by the man himself as an opportunity to communicate his worldview to a younger audience. This has led disillusioned Conservatives to hope that he could become a springboard to launch a soft coup of their party and reshape it in his image.

The reality, however, is profoundly different. Farage's Thatcherite instincts for free markets, social conservatism, and strong borders, while admirable in themselves, fail to grasp the roots of the nation's — and indeed, the entire West’s — malaise. Nigel's semi-based boomerism represents solutions to problems of a nation and a world that sadly no longer exist.

It is natural that the right, cut adrift in dark and stormy waters, seeks to grasp at any flotsam of sufficient buoyancy that they might be able to paddle to safety. However, after a succession of crushing disappointments despite a litany of votes having already gone in their favour, and with Cthulhu swimming ever further left, it is clear that the problems crippling this nation’s innate capacity to thrive — to borrow a cliche of the left — are, in fact, both structural and systemic.

The way in which the parliamentary and party system is constituted presents Farage with a myriad of hurdles likely to prove insurmountable in any practicable timescale. After being accepted back into the Conservative Party for the first time in decades, Farage would have to be nominated for a constituency with a ‘safe seat'. Given the scarcity of such seats, both before and after the 2024 election, those who possess them are unlikely to want to give them up.

Assuming this went smoothly, he would need to be approved by the local Conservative association, which would probably be less obstructive, given Farage’s popularity with the base. However, he would then be subject to a bye-election within a few months of a general election — something that bores and bemuses common folk but motivates the activist class. This would mean that even the safest of seats could not be entirely guaranteed, particularly with the weight of corporate and state media around the globe working against him in their efforts to ‘fortify’ democracy.

Despite these barriers to entry, the election of Nigel Farage as a Conservative MP is not implausible. However, it would be slow, fatally slow, with a feasible timeline of six months to a year. During that time, Sunak would surely announce his resignation, and the process of selecting a new leader would begin if not immediately, then within weeks.

Britain’s Brexit hero would not be on the ballot paper without having acquired a seat, even assuming the husk of parliamentary MPs would vote him into the top two candidates before deferring to the broader party. All of this would mean that a new leader would be installed, whether a brazen globalist like Hunt or Mourdant or someone from the superficially ‘real conservative’ wing of the party like Badenoch or Braverman.

Let us assume that the best worst-case scenario is fulfilled, i.e., a Badenoch leadership with Farage immediately elevated to the position of Shadow Home Secretary or Chancellor. A general election still needs to be won, at the latest in 2029. The likely state of the nation after five years of a Labour government in complete ideological agreement with the leftist technocracy is almost too horrible to contemplate.

As Dan Tubbs has so keenly observed in his Brokenomics series, the British, along with the United States et. al, find themselves at a critical juncture in their political economies. The state has swelled beyond the point that it can be contained by the elected politicians it was intended to serve and, adopting its own overtly political agendas. These agendas are often in direct conflict with any Conservative government’s stated manifesto goals, who are as a consequence wholly committed to the expansion of their powers.

Even the bete noire of the leftist media, the recently deposed Suella Braverman, has been exposed as entirely supine in the face of her Neo-Marxian staffers and their in-work activism. The idea that a former MEP like Farage, with absolutely no ministerial experience, could tame the vast globalist fifth column which is the Home Office and restore it to its Pre-Blairite ideals of complete neutrality is almost comical. This is without saying that this culture is evident across all departments and institutions up and down the land, screaming out for nothing less than a Mileiian chainsaw to sever them from the taxpayer's pockets.

The problems facing the United Kingdom are ones of nature and scale, and the old right neither grasps nor has answers to either. Boomer truisms are set to be eviscerated by the coming and inevitable economic-structural collapse, which will only be accelerated by a Labour government. At that time, what will be required is a radical new class of civilisational architects prepared to sort fastidiously through the rubble of the West to preserve its treasures, but unafraid of building a new political infrastructure very unlike what came before.

A totemic figure like Farage could doubtless be an ally in such a fight, but he is a 20th-century figure who largely provides answers to 20th-century problems. Modern global power systems have long since subverted the museum of democracy that is the Palace of Westminster and, like it, the myth that one more vote for one great man might save us needs to be abandoned to antiquity.